Want to delve into my life a little more? Joanna Journals bears all…
Back when I was young, I dreamed of being a journalist. I always loved creative writing, and I always believed I had a knack for it but, as I got older and my imagination dimmed, I decided to take a more practical outlook on life – why be a journalist when I could get a boring job and earn LOTS of money. Even reading that over now, I think how silly I was, yet that was what I thought would make me happy and successful!
Ignoring my passion.
Although I knew I had a passion in life, I ignored this, and instead chose to be “successful” in the only way I thought possible… money! This meant that, when all the people surrounding me spoke of their career paths and their dreams in life, I always felt left out; why didn’t I have a dream?
I didn’t have a dream because I had extinguished the flame before it could fully ignite.
So, after making the decision to be “successful” in life, I began forming the path towards this; I took my A Levels so I could go to uni and get a degree. The only subject I ever fully enjoyed studying at school was Maths so, after doing well in my A Levels, I set off to uni to study it.
However, as it turned out, I was only good at Maths to a point, and it also turned out that A Levels were that point. When I got to uni, the course was so different to what I expected it to be, and I hated it. Despite this, I continued with it, and spent a whole year of my life pushing through because I thought “3 years of pain for a lifetime of “success” will be worth it”.
Pursuing something I hated.
I spent a whole year studying Maths, despite the signs telling me to stop.
Don’t do something for the sake of doing it.
By doing this, my first year at uni was miserable. The only thing keeping me going were my friends and, later on in the year, the guy I started seeing, who is now my boyfriend. If it weren’t for them, my mental health would have seriously suffered.
After a whole year of misery, I finally decided to change courses before starting up uni again in September. I had always had an interest in History, and had done well in this A Level too, so this was my next obvious choice. I was absolutely terrified to drop my current course, even though I knew the grass would definitely be greener on the other side, but I just thought, “how can I possibly start uni all over again!?”.
Nevertheless, the next term, I started my new course and LOVED it! It turns out I am actually alright at writing essays and doing the research for them and, even if I don’t necessarily pursue a job in this field, the information I am learning feels enriching and beneficial.
Being scared of failure.
I spent my whole life thinking failure was embarrassing, and no one could ever come back from it. I was so wrong.
It’s okay to fail.
In fact, failing was one of the best things that could have possibly happened to me because, if I hadn’t, I never would have started a new course and loved it! I would have also never realised that there’s more to life than how many zeros are in your bank account.
So, after 2 years of studying history and loving it, I have now begun the newest chapter of my life; starting this blog. Starting a blog is something I have wanted to do for so long but I always thought, due to the saturation within the blogging community these days, especially the fashion and beauty community, that I would just melt into the crowd.
I was also worried by what people around me would think – why is it that us bloggers are made to feel embarrassed by our hobby?
This has been the final step to my journey of realisation as, by beginning to write again, I have realised how passionate I am about it. It has also helped to start setting me up with the skills, and the drive, for pursuing a career I love.
Not doing something just because I was scared of what people might think.
Never think like this!
If the people around you don’t support what you’re doing, especially if it’s something that you are really passionate about, don’t let them get you down! They’re not worth it.
Surround yourself with positive and supportive people.
By having a supportive network of people who are, or at least try to be, interested in what I do, I feel as though I am doing something worthwhile. This is definitely easier said than done, and it’s something I am still learning to do, but it should get easier. The next step for me is to publish my blog on my Facebook for all my friends to see, but I’m still nervous to do this… baby steps!
It’s okay to focus on yourself and do something purely for you.
This is imperative to join the path to happiness and actual success.
Once I finally started something that I loved (i.e. my blog), and did it for myself and no one else, the pieces just began to fall into place, and over the past week I have realised what I want to do in life – writing.
Once you’ve realised your dream, take this opportunity and run with it!
I have already begun making moves to try and secure experience within the writing world as I know it’s so, so competitive but, as long as I don’t give up, I am constantly making the right moves to real success.
I know exactly what it’s like to be in a position where you don’t know what path to take; it’s so demotivating, but if you still don’t know your path, it’s okay! You have time, and as long as you’re searching, you’re on the right track already. However, if you do know your path, don’t take for granted how lucky you are, no matter how far away from your end goal you are.
“Success” is not the same for everybody.
Yes, money might mean success, and therefore, happiness, to some people, but that was not the case for me. Learn what your definition of “success” is, and reach for it.
It’s okay to make mistakes…
So, this has been sort of a spur-of-the-moment post, but I feel as though my experience of self-discovery should be shared. If I can help at least one person, then my job is done.
Thank you for reading, and comment below if you have any questions, or want to share your own experiences of self-discovery ❤